To my co-worker: I think you need a doughnut, you were a little meaner than usual today. Perhaps, if you ate a doughnut covered in pretty sprinkles it would make you happy. And you wouldn’t DEMAND the following on a daily basis:
- Three small ice cubes, not four large ones.
- A latte made at 120 degrees, and not a smidgen colder or warmer.
- Your lunch at 10:30, when the restaurant you want opens daily at 10:30. I sadly don’t have time machine powers. Did you not see my resume?
- I love your text messages of “YOU NEED TO CALL ME NOW”. Only to find that you want a sandwich. I have been waiting in line for 20 minutes for your salad and just placed the order. LOVE YOU TOO.
- No, Chipotle does not like it when you place an order for pickup in an hour, than leave 5 minutes later to pick up that order. They also LOVE IT when I cancel that order, stand in a lunch rush line, and order 15 orders at once.
- Run 2 miles to get your presentation items for your Executives presentation which needs to be shipped in 30 minutes to make the FedEx deadline. The one you knew about a week ago, but found your Facebook page, and YouTube far more interesting.
- Ignore my requests for what you and your executives would like for lunch, then demand that I call my vendors and tell them I need it in 10. These vendors save me on a daily basis because you like to ignore me. Shame on you.
- And no, I still cannot walk and look at my Blackberry. Did you see me run into that wall?
Please know that when I smile sweetly, and listen to you talk about how hungry you are. I’m really thinking that you should have EATEN THE DOUGHNUT. Too late, I already did!